Dumbledore Goes Pink & All
by Puking Pastilles
Summary: Dumbledore's favorite color is pink. So desperately that he changed Hogwarts pink. See the funny things that happen! Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Hogwarts Staff goes Weird and All

Dumbledore goes Pink and All

"Severus, now will you just invite Dumbledore for a lovely pink tea party, and put this in his tea? Don't worry, you will be rewarded." Whispered Voldemort excitedly, like a little boy telling a great secret. "Oh, don't worry, I've changed my priority, instead of Harry Potter, now it is to make everyone like me, all pink and all!" he added, seeing the blank expression on Snape's face.

"Oh, I will! Of course my lord, I will accomplish the job." Replied Snape, accepting the jar full of pink colored teabags.

"Very well, now off you go, I need to apply my scalp-care and mud mask soon."

"Albus, have some delicious tea I've made myself!"

"Of course Severus! La la la la la! What a lovely day it is!"

"Minerva, would you do me a little favor? Please transfigure the grasses outside the castle…pink, would you?"

"O-Of course I will Albus, b-b-but why do you ask?" stammered McGonnagal, looking utterly bewildered at the thought of having pink grass outside the castle.

"I do not know, but my feelings tell me to do so. So you will do it? Oh Minerva! We such BFFs! La la la la la!" cried Dumbledore, pulling the gaping McGonnagal into a friendship hug.

"What's BFF? Is it Beautiful…F-f-f-forgetful…F-f-f-f-fish?!" asked McGonnagal, clearly not understanding a word of Dumbledore's.

"Oh you're so funny Minerva!" laughed Dumbledore, banging his fist on his carpet, which was now colored pink, by Flitwick, who performed a coloring charm on Dumbledore's behalf. "Now off you go! I need to wash my hair and beard! La la la la la!"

McGonnagal walked stiffly out of Dumbledore's office door, which was a light shad of pink, with a pink canvas on it that had Albus Dumbledore in curly letters, and hearts and stars drawn around them (in pink of course).

(A/N: I hope you're with me so far in the story, I just thought of the idea in the shower. Saw my pink shampoo. Sorry about the frequency of setting-changing!)

"What the bloody hell's that all about?!" exclaimed Ron, pointing at a piece of pink parchment stuck to the Gryffindor notice board, standing on tiptoes, he read out the words (dark pink and in curly letters) to the other two.

"'New rules apply to every student in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:

All make-up color is restricted down to the color pink

All jewelry is restricted down to the color pink

All hair-dye and color changing will be restricted down to the color pink

All toiletry color will be restricted down to the color pink (eg pink shampoo)

All hair accessories will be restricted down to the color pink

All student bedspreads will be changed to the color pink

Yours Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore'"

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S PANTS IS THIS ALL ABOUT?" wailed Hermione.

"Come on 'Mione, you're a girl, you could do with pink stuff. As for us boys," said Ron, indicating Harry, "sleeping in PINK bedspreads is a CRIME." And Harry nodded.

Apparently lost for words, Hermione ran up to her dormitory and realized that the rules had already applied. She walked back down the spiral stairs, complaining loudly about free country and Educational Decrees. She was not the only one, the whole Gryffindor common room was muttering loudly at each other, thinking of reasons to use in a debate (like there will be any). Hermione sat down by the window, and nearly fainted with shock.

"They've made the grass PINK!" she screamed, causing an eerie and awkward silence before the common room exploded again.

"Who's ever heard of pink grass? It's insane!!"

"What 'bout the boys?"

"Ohhhhh… I'm going to take a bath." Said Hermione, heading for the prefects bathroom.

Hermione walked into the female prefects' bathroom, only to regret it after discovering terrible shock. The tiles where pink, and the water that came out of the taps was pink, and a shelf was neatly organized with pink bath bombs, candles, matches, bubble bath, soap, towels, face washers, and two new dirty clothes basket was in the corner, one labeled pink clothes, slightly prettier than the other one, which was labeled normal clothes. Hermione sighed, and accepted that she needed a bath and had no choice.

After a bath as quick (and with as less soap as possible) as possible, Hermione rushed back into the Gryffindor room, unfortunately bumping into Malfoy, who was heading towards the prefects' bathroom. "Mudblood." She heard him mutter, before murmuring the password to the fat lady, who she noticed was wearing a pink dress having some nice pink fruit in a pink room. Her frame has switched to fluoro pink too. "Even the bathroom's all pink…ish!" and Hermione explained the situation to her friends, who gasped loudly and dramatically, so that the rest of the Gryffindor population could hear Hermione.

"Oh, Hermione, we forgot to tell you, a new notice appeared on the board after you left, and it said that our books, parchment, and quills, oh, and ink, all have to be pink. All non-pink items will be confiscated, and that pays us a trip to Hogsmeade." Said Ron in a fake happy 'la la la la la' tone.

Hermione moaned loudly, and the rest of the common room followed suit. Hermione returned to her dormitory and braced herself for dinner. As her roommates filed in, Lavender piped up, "bet the house elves have received instructions to cook pink food!" before trying to transfigure her make-up and jewelry to pink, soon the whole dormitory was changed into a sickly pink peach color after an unsuccessful transformation from Pavarti.

After a few more attempts to change it back, Hermione shoved her wand in her robes and said, "never mind, I guess there'll soon be a new rule that our walls have to be pink." And walked off to dinner.

The changes have taken place fast. The tables and benches were painted pink, and the floor was carpeted with a rich rose patterned pink rug. Pink banners with the house name written on them in swirly curly letters was hanging from the ceiling. The goblets and plates that were usually gold were now a metallic magenta. Dumbledore was sitting at the centre of the staff table on a pink armchair with a back in the shape of a tiara. He was also wearing pink robes with little butterflies and hearts all over them. Hermione sighed but sat down without a word.

"This reminds me of Valentine's Day in our second year!" said Ron as he sat down next to Hermione. In the trio's second year at Hogwarts, the Defence against the Dark arts teacher was famous Gilderoy Lockhart, and he decorated the great hall pink (at least he was wearing forget-me-not blue robes) and arranged dwarves to deliver Valentines.

Harry grunted in response. He was too bothered to answer properly. Why was Hogwarts becoming pinker by the minute? Who is behind all this?


	2. Chapter 2

"'Dear Mum,

"'Dear Mum,

Dumbledore got weird and all, and he says that our stuff all has to be pink. Since we have nothing pink, we need some money to buy pink stuff in Hogsmeade. Please reply fast or most of our things will be confiscated.

Love Ron and Ginny' There! OK, come here Pig, now you just deliver this to Mum, 'kay. That should do." Muttered Ron, tying his note tightly to Pigwidgeon's leg. "I hope the note doesn't fall off his leg when he delivers it…stupid thing, shut up Pig! OK, OK, you can have an owl treat –"

"I think you should train him, Ronald!" complained Hermione loudly.

"Don't interrupt 'Mione! And anyway, he's only been like this after Dumbledore asked Flitwick to color our owls pink!" shot back Ron. As Harry stared at his own pink Hedwig, who was nipping a rubbery owl toy in an angry way, showing that she didn't like the color pink much.

"Oh." Said Hermione quietly. She obviously thought of coloring the owls pink as a bad idea.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore was in his office, casting the 'Muffliato' charm around his office before turning on his music really loud. Several staff members already told Dumbledore that they can hear muggle songs from the other side of the castle.

"I wanna take you away, lets escape into the music, DJ let it play, I just can't refuse it, like the way you do this, keep on rockin' to it, Please don't stop the, Please don't stop the music!" he sang off keyed. Dumbledore was also jumping around on tables and desks, shaking his head and going like, 'Boing! Boing! Boing!' in the instrumental breaks.

The trio got bounced up and down in the owlery as Dumbledore's jumps vibrated the castle floors. They looked at each other and Harry said, "THERE'S AN EARTHQUAKE!!" Ron started to panic with him, but Hermione stared screaming over the sounds Ron and Harry were making. "HAS ANYONE EVER BOTHERED TO OPEN _HOGWARTS A HISTORY_? IT SAYS THAT THE CASTLE CAN'T BE EFFECTED BY NATURAL DISASTERS LIKE FLOODS AND EARTHQUAKES!" and Harry held Ron back as he continued to scream because he didn't hear Hermione.

By now, the castle was being rocked up and down in tune of Dumbledore's choice of songs as he moved on through Delta Goodrem, the Veronicas, Kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavigne, and even Abba.

"Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook, hook me up!"

The 'Muffliato' charm has worn off, and Snape growled as his spoonful of mashed potato arrived on his sallow face. Every dish was empty as the food was dancing in the air, and finally, several glass windows in the great hall shattered into pieces, and some of the pieces even resembled the letters h, many o's, and a k. Students rushed back into their dormitories and buried themselves under pillows and quilts, but Dumbledore's voice, which here I mention, as cracked and broken and crappy as his nose, was still to be heard even in Hogsmeade.

Finally, until midnight, the Gryffindor house captain got the bravery to go into Dumbledore's office to politely ask him to be quiet.

The next day, everyone apart from Dumbledore, got up with dark, black rings around their eyes and dragged themselves up to do their duties and attend to their lessons.

As Snape's face landed in his pudding as he was falling asleep for the 6th time in breakfast, he groaned and wiped his face for the 6th time of the day. A plastic bottle then banged Snape on the head, which caused his face to land in pudding for the 7th time of the day. As Snape sat up once again, he opened the envelope attached to the bottle and started to read the letter:

"Dear Snippety Snappety Snapey,

I think your hair needs cleaning, so I sent you the same hair care product that I use. It contains cherry blossoms and strawberries and loads of other pink stuff.

No love at all because I don't want to waste my love on you, Voldemort"

Snape stared at the bottle of pink, gooey, sickly sweet smelling liquid and frowned at it, making a mental note to chuck it in the fire when he had a chance.

"La La la la la la la!! La la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I should start a jump rope squad!" sang Dumbledore happily as he skipped down the corridor, "I'll put up the notices after pink pancakes in brekkie!"

Later, pink notices appeared on the house boards, and it read:

"Hogwarts Jump Rope for Magic Squad tryouts:

Hogwarts will be starting a Jump Rope Squad, and any students interested, please tryout on the 22nd May on the clearing in the front of the lake. I hope to see many of you.

Albus Dumbledore

Aerobics Squad tryouts:

Hogwarts will be starting an Aerobics Squad, and any students interested, please tryout on the 23rd May on the clearing in the front of the lake. I hope to see many of you.

Albus Dumbledore"

Hermione stared at the notice for a moment, and announced that she was going to tryout for the Jump Rope for Magic team.

"You're nuts!" Ron cried, pointing at the notice, his jaw crashing to the ground.

"Look, Ronald, I've been in the muggle school jump rope for heart team before I turned 11, and I'm a really experienced skipper! I enjoy skipping anyway!" shot back Hermione, looking defensively at her feet.

"Neigh! Neigh!" cried Ron, indicating Hermione with a finger, and mouthed 'nuts' at Harry.

(A/N: La la la la la! Oh no wait, I'm going pink as well! Anyway, I hope you like my story! Plz R&R!)


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione criss-crossed, did over and unders, doubles and triples, and even enchanted two long ropes to swing themselves while she did double dutch with a n extra skipping rope

Hermione criss-crossed, did over and unders, doubles and triples, and even enchanted two long ropes to swing themselves while she did double dutch with a n extra skipping rope. Despite her efforts to stay on track, the fluoro pink skipping ropes kept distracting her.

The day after, some girls were trying out for the Aerobics Squad. A girl with emerald green eyes and a darker shade of chocolate brown hair in a loose bun, the right number of soft curls hang in her pale face was kicking the air, finally falling silent to the grass as the music ended (Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, Dumbledore's choice).

Hermione rushed to the notice board as two pink pieces of parchment appeared on it.

"Yes! Yes! I got in!" she pulled Ron into a rib-breaking hug much like Hagrid's.

"Maybe it's Hagrid with polyjuice potion and transformed into Hermione." Whispered Ron to Harry.

The brown haired girl walked over to the notice board, and looked the other notice up and down before returning to her friends, who congratulated her.

"Well done Sophie!"

Hermione yawned and headed back to the dormitories, but poked her head back through the door to tell Harry and Ron that she was going to bed.

"It's only 7:30!" said Ron.

"Neigh Ron." Replied Harry dully, steering Ron back into an armchair, before being deafened by Dumbledore's new guitar, which made an ear-splitting noise.

"Oof! What the-"

"Ow!"

"Get out of m'way Mudblood!" Malfoy poked out his tongue at Hermione.

"Shut up, ferret!" Hermione retorted.

"You have no right to speak to me like that Mudblood!"

"Malfoy, shove off." Apparently Sophie happened to walk by, and unable to stand the bickering, she decided that it was fairer to help Hermione.

"Sorry." Surprisingly, Malfoy knew some manners! Hermione never thought that a single polite word will appear in Malfoy's dictionary.

Hermione turned to say thanks, only to discover that Sophie had already walked off to Charms.

Sophie hurried through a pink door, apologizing to Flitwick that she was late. Picking up a pink cushion to summon, she sat on a stool and began muttering the charm. The pink cushion just wouldn't budge. There was a knock on the door, and a lady was standing in the doorway, before announcing that aerobics practice was now on and any students that are in the squad should come with her.

"Yesssss." Sophie hissed silently, packing away her belongings a scurrying off behind this woman.

"Hello, my name is Jess Hayes (I don't own Jess Hayes 'cuz she's the Aerobic coach at my school) and I will be your Aerobics coach, you will have training the same time every week."

"Yes, no more Charms!"

"Pardon?"

"Nothing."

Jess led Sophie into the great hall, where the five tables have disappeared, and the Jump Rope team was practicing a routine with bright pink skipping ropes in a corner. In the opposite corner, the rest of the Aerobic Squad was pumping along to some new release muggle music called Believe Again by someone like, Diana Gurly or something (A/N: It's meant to be Delta Goodrem by the way, but Dumbledore being a wizard, didn't label the cassette properly, or it might be because Sophie couldn't see properly as to the fact that the label was really pink).

"One two three four five six seven…" Jess was practically screaming the rhythm to the girls.

Face dripping with sweat, Hermione and Sophie accompanied each other to the prefects' bathroom to have a bath. It never occurred to Hermione before when she previously visited the prefects' bathroom, but she was not a prefect! Nor was Sophie, but most people use the prefects' bathroom, even the third years.

There was a lot of difference from Hermione's last visit: the candles on the chandelier were burning pink fire, and the pink smoke smelt of a sick strawberry flavor. There were bottles of muggle shampoo – Smackers, with came in watermelon and strawberry smells, but never actually cleans one's hair (honest, it's the shampoo I got the inspiration from! It sucks, so don't buy it 'cuz it just tangles your hair! It also cost me some bucks for such a small bottle of shampoo!). There were also rose petals floating in the hot water, and the stained glass was pink too! Muggle music was playing in the background softly out of nowhere. A piece of water proof parchment was on the edge of the large pool, and it read 'rose petals make a bath relaxing'. The pair sighed, how could one relax in a place like this?

"I'm using the bathroom in my dormitory! At least there's a bar of candy soap (mine as well! I got it at the Mothers' Day Stall, but I decided to get another one, so I kept the pack with the soap for myself. It's so through cream, with glittery red bits at the top that made the soap look like a giant lolly) that I hid in the secret wooden panel (I was reading a book to my buddy, and it was about a girl who had a room, which had a wooden panel that opens so you can hide stuff in it), you know, the secret one?" Sophie explained patiently as she gathered up her clean clothes.

"Damn it! I should have done the same! I'll write to mum and dad and ask them to send me some soap and shampoo. Proper ones!" replied Hermione unhappily.

"For the meantime you can borrow mine if you want!"

"Thanks!"

Hermione attempted to flop over her bed, but got caught in the numerous pink laces draping lazily over her pink bed. Anger filled her. "I've had enough, that's it! This room looks like Umbridge's office! And it needs a makeover!"

Hermione paced around the room, muttering incantations that returned the dormitory into its normal state.

Finally, she cleared out the cupboard hidden by a finely carved wooden panel of crumpled up notes Pavarti and Lavender used to pass around during class.

Now this looked more like a Gryffindor's dormitory than a girly muggle girl's bedroom! Hermione thought, wait, this needs a bit of finishing touch… she conjured a large Gryffindor banner that had additional tiny writing at the bottom: the non-pink girls!

And one more, Hermione added a concealing charm, so only the inhabitants of this dormitory can see the difference Hermione just made.

Hermione was power walking up to the owlery, her letter pleading for her parents to get her some non-pink bath products in one hand, and tucking her lose hair behind her ear. When she turned the corner, Hermione bumped into the person she least wanted to bump into – Malferret the most slimy living ferret on Earth, Malfoy. But to her surprise, Malfoy was stowing away a about a zillion bars of blue soap into his robes.

Hermione was just about to exclaim loudly at Malfoy's soap, but he was quicker.

"Bet you've got a letter pleading muuuuuuuurmmy to send you some non-pink items! Granger, look, we both don't wanna get caught doing the under-ground non-pink society business, so I'll shut up about it if you do the same. We're in the same boat." He snarled.

"Deal. Non-pink society? What on Earth is –"

"Haven't you heard of the non-pink society? That Sarah or Sophie Gyffindor started it up yesterday, open to all houses. Just against the stupid pink rules. I'm getting the supply of soap here, so shut up about it."

" 'kay." Hermione had no choice but to obey. Dealing with foul creatures like Malfoy was better than facing an angry McGonnagal making her write the pink rules a hundred times. But why hadn't Sophie told her about the non-pink society? They were friends after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione paced after Malfoy around the invisible entrance to the Room of Requirement, thinking hard: somewhere non-pink, somewhere where we can't be discovered. After doing so three times, a door appeared in the wall and Hermione and Malfoy hurried through it.

Entering, Hermione saw a world of blueness, she didn't really like blue much, but it was definitely better than pink.

Sophie was obviously just setting the room up with the things that the Room of Requirement can't produce. There were two staircases, which Hermione predicted led up to some girls' and boys' dormitories for those who can't transfigure pink to normal. A door that led off to a kitchen and dining room was wide open with a large basketful of food sitting on an ancient looking large bench

The main room was like a common room, scattered with desks, sofas, couched and beanbags. A fire was burning warmly away in the fireplace at the centre of the room.

Hermione walked up to Sophie, who was taking the load of soap that Malfoy had got from his family and filling a large wicked basket with them.

"Sophie, where did you get them from?"

"House elves, they agreed to help. They don't seem to like the pink pillow cases Dumbledore gave them…"

"Oh! I forgot all about SPEW over the summer holidays! I'd better restart SPEW now! See you later Sophie!"

"Spew? What's spew?" Sophie looked utterly confused at Hermione's words.

"Nevueu! Dobby's got muffins for the kitchen!"

Sophie turned and saw Malfoy and Dobby standing together with basketfuls of chocolate chip muffins.

"I thought I told you to call me by my first name, Sophie, Malfoy?"

"You don't seem to follow that rule yourself," Malfoy replied smugly, "_Sophie. "_Malfoy uttered the last word as though it was a disease.

"Fine, _Draco_." Sophie did the same with Draco (wait a minute, I'm not following that rule) Malfoy's name. "Put them in the kitchen please." Even though this nasty slimy Slytherin was a total idiot, she still needed her manners on display.

Sophie started to transfigure some pink banners in house banners, and because of the massive amount of them, she draped them over the sofas, pinned them to the wall, and hung the largest ones up as hammocks in the reading area. Even the library was too fluoro to concentrate in.

People started to trail away from the still in progress NP (Hey this can also stand for Neopets or Neopoints! I used to lurve Neopets, it's meant to stand for Non pink) headquarters, only leaving Sophie sewing the house crests onto some pillowcases.

At last, Sophie tossed a pillow case into the spare quilts basket: she couldn't be bothered to find the right basket in the pile of items. She walked off to dinner, feeling wary.

The great hall was nearly deserted, and Sophie dropped onto a random bench, too tired to care if it was the right table, and started to eat. Hermione was still sitting at the table too. She obviously just finished researching for other possible ways to help house elves.

But Sophie realized that Hermione was not the only one accompanying her, next to her was Draco Malfoy, who was being an experiment to Dumbledore: Dumbledore obviously wanted to design some pinky dressy robes for his students.

Sophie edged away from Dumbledore, not wanting to turn into a female experiment for Dumbledore even if she was going to be paid. She ate quickly and sped off towards her dormitory, leaving Hermione and Draco (Malfoy's longer than Draco) alone in the hall.

Draco was nearly falling asleep, and Hermione had forgotten about her dinner and sat reading a thick leather bound book with faded lettering in its spine that read "House Elves' Right".

After fifteen minutes, which seemed like fifteen hours to Hermione and Draco, Draco finally fell asleep, his head resting on Hermione's shoulder. Several things happened at once, Hermione screamed and threw Draco off her shoulder, Draco jerked awake and shouted "Holy Grail!" and them fell to the ground, pulling poor Hermione with her; Hermione screamed and hit the ground, shoulder first. Dumbledore didn't seem to be startled, but calmly said in a sing-song voice: "Poppy, someone needs you!"

Madam Pomfrey, who had been forced to judge Dumbledore's pink designs, muttered "I reckon you need a nurse like me" and levitated the two injured students, who were moaning in pain to the hospital wing.

"Dear, I don't have a model to test my designs!" Dumbledore showed no concern to Hermione and Draco.

As Madam Pomfrey attended to some other students who have fallen head first off the bench when Dumbledore was designing, Hermione started on Malfoy.

"Why the hell did you fall asleep on me Malfoy!"

"You'd do the same if that Dumbledore was using you as a model for 24 hours!"

"Why so sudden?"

"Ask him!"

"Shut up then Malfoy."

Malfoy turned to lie sideways on his shoulder and face Hermione. She turned her head and saw a pair of grey eyes boring into hers. He ripped off a piece of fabric from the fragile pink pillowcase and scrunched it into a soft ball to throw at Hermione. But Hermione had no idea of what Malfoy was going to do, so she stared into his eyes.

As Malfoy was building up his ball, Hermione realized that Malfoy had nice eyes. _Stop thinking like that girl, that's a human form of ferrets you're looking at!_ She told herself, but thinking didn't work, soon, she looked like she was having an absence seizure (of EPILEPSY), until Malfoy hit Hermione softly with his head sized ball.

Hermione jerked her head up and stared around, _where the hell am I? _It took her a complete minute to take in her surroundings again.

"What on earth's wrong with you, Granger?"

Hermione still looked dozed, "For once you didn't call me a Mudblood, Malfoy."

"I've gotten out of the habit of doing so."

"Big change in a pureblood scum."

"Shut up."

"What's the magic word?"

"Ha! As if I'll say the P word! Avada Kedavra or Imperio would be a suitable!" Malfoy answered sarcastically.

"Oh dear I'm dying…not!" Hermione cried out in a phony high voice.

"OK, enough chit-chat, you two can go now." Madam Pomfrey ushered them away.

Hermione and Malfoy walked their separate ways to their dorms.

That night, neither Hermione or Malfoy got a good night's sleep. Both were awake, thinking, what will become of Hogwarts? Funny someone like Malfoy would have cared though, he would've been happy to see Dumbledore get sacked by his father.

The next morning, Draco felt surprisingly cheerful, helpful, and different. He happily got dressed and skipped off to breakfast. Hermione dragged her feet up to breakfast, 5 kilos of papers and books stacked in her arms, as her struggled and staggered, her legs gave way and she fell in a heap next to her books.

Draco, out of all people, had extended a hand to help Hermione up and stacked the books and papers in a neat pile and carried them to the great hall for Hermione. Extreme unusual behaviour. Draco had also sung happily a muggle song that Hermione was familiar with: Shut Up and Drive. Hermione recalled Dumbledore asking Malfoy if he wanted tea. The drowsy Draco, who was too tired too care, accepted the offer. _Oh no! Malfoy's pink and stuff as well! I hope he doesn't remember about the NPS! _Hermione panicked, and did a fast memory charm under her breath. Draco looked dozed for a split second, but then returned to sing the chorus of Rihanna's song.

Draco still lurves pink, but his instincts on the NPS was gone for good. Hermione needed to see Sophie, and fast! She was three months older than Hermione and came from a wizarding family. She should know about the tea.

Swallowing her breakfast like a hungry wolf, she left her books with Ron and Harry and did a standard Olympic sprint towards the Room of Requirement, where Sophie Nevueu was to be found, fitting pillows into pillowcases.

"Sophie! Draco's got the pink thing! He's just like Dumbledore now!" Hermione didn't care that she had used Malfoy's first name. She knew she ought not worry about it if it was a slimy ferret that has the pink thing, but it felt like Draco was some close relative to her, and she was very upset of it.

Sophie dropped the pillows and sat there, looking stunned. Finally, her throat made a strange gurgly nose, and coughed loudly. "We need to find how to stop this pink stuff, or Hogwarts will be a disaster."

The bell rang, and Sophie excused herself and ran off. Hermione knew it was to hide her tears. Draco had been like a brother during their years at Hogwarts. Though the trio had always had a little objection of this relation, they never said a word about it and soon grew to trust Malfoy not to harm Sophie.

Hermione sighed and walked off to Potions. Snape was sitting at his desk, wearing some plain pink robes and a pointed wizard's hat that had ribbons flowing from the end. Dumbledore had obviously made a rule for his staff to wear pink clothing, as McGonnagal had been seen earlier at breakfast wearing pink robes and a pair of dangly Hello Kitty earrings. His students tried to settle in the new pink theme, with the newly painted pink desks, and the pink blackboard and carpet.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"


	5. Chapter 5

Dumbledore Goes Pink and All

Hermione screamed at the sight of Snape's classroom, just like several other students who thought Snape had gone pink as well.

"Now be quiet Miss Granger, you and I both know that pink is and awful color."

"Phew." Hermione gasped in relief.

But it didn't last long. Dumbledore had instructed Snape to teach his classes how to brew pink potions; today's potion for the sixth years was a pink shampoo that gets rid of dandruff. As Snape explained the potion's use to the class, Ron groaned.

"Like anyone would have dandruff. Only muggles get them, we wizards can use magic to get rid of them."

Hermione slowly drifted off to sleep at the sound of Snape's explanation on how people get dandruff in the first place. She dreamed of the original Hogwarts, and what she would've been doing if Dumbledore didn't go pink.

That evening, even more students went pink, and Hermione learnt that they would forget about the NPS if they had the pink tea. As she scanned the front page of the Evening Prophet, a small article caught her eye.

_Several Famous Wizards get Caught in Pink Acts_

_Famous Albus Dumbledore, Cornelius Fudge, Lucius Malfoy etc have recently found liking for the color pink and a wide range of muggle songs. For more information, please turn to page 25…_

To Hermione's surprise, this article was written by none other than Rita Skeeter. Maybe she only told the truth because it was enough to smear embarrassment to those famous wizards. Hermione wondered why so far only wizards have got the whole pink thing. All of her girlfriends have been acting completely normal. Maybe because girls are pink in the first place? But most girls have lost their love for the color pink since the age of ten!

Hermione flipped the newspaper to page 25, and read on:

_The unusual behavior is known as a symptom to the ancient disease, Pink's Syndrome. Pink's Syndrome has disappeared in the past few centuries, but again mysteriously floating to the surface. Healers explained that every wizard has Pink's Syndrome, but something so far unknown usually triggers the disease and causes wizards to behave "pinkly". This disease is not contagious and only known to males. No cure has been found yet._

_So far, the most disastrous case had been Albus Dumbledore, who has turned Hogwarts pink and spread the disease to students of Hogwarts._

_People suspect that the dark lord You-Know-Who, is behind these disease-triggering. He himself has been quite pink lately, and another symptom of the Pink's Syndrome is willingness to spread the disease, but not realizing that such doing is wrong._

Hermione stared at the article. There were only girls left now, nearly the whole wizarding population had got the disease, and now the run was full of witches. For once, Rita Skeeter had got her details right. She'd go to the headquarters before sleep, but Hermione didn't know why since there was nothing to do there.

Hermione ate quickly and hurried off to the Room of Requirement. The door was starting to fade into the walls, but reopened as Hermione paced around the corridor. Sophie was already there, with dozens of house elves huddled around the cushions. The Non-Pink Society had obviously expanded its membership to house elves too. Soon the female teachers will be flapping to the headquarters.

"The house elves are sick of the color pink." Sophie told Hermione as she sat down in a white armchair.

Hermione helped hand out the pure white pillowcases the had tiny writing on the edge that read 'Don't trust pink and Nappy San OxyAction Max' in brown. (A/N: has anyone ever seen the ad Nappy San OxyAction Max? In the end it goes like, 'trust pink, forget stains'.)

Everyone scurried off as the clock chimed eight o'clock, and Hermione had discussed some cures with Sophie.

"Hermione, um, I hope you don't mind, but maybe we can experiment with the pink stuff." Said Sophie as the house elves went happily with their white pillowcases.

" 'course I don't mind! Ron and Harry's got it too, and it's pretty lonely and boring without them. And I don't know why… but I seem to be worrying about Mal, I mean, Draco a bit too…"

" 'kay. I reckon it has something to do with potions, and Snape hasn't gone pink yet, so we can ask him. We'd better hurry though, with so many people pink, he's bound to get some pinkness in his brain." Sophie said slowly, counting her points off her long, slim fingers.

"Okaaaaay…" Hermione took her time to take in the sudden flow of information.

"Let's get moving. Snape first." Sophie stood up and led Hermione to Snape's office.

But when the two girls walked into Snape's office, they gasped and quickly backed out of the hideous room. Snape had turned pink.

"Oh no! Snape must've somehow got pink too!" Hermione moaned uncomfortably.

Sophie sighed audibly, and the two went off to the library.

The two worked endlessly, unaware of the passing time. Sophie's artistic hand (A/N: I don't know how a hand can be artistic, but I mean that Sophie's artistic, 'kay??) traced maps of Hogwarts, copied from the Maruader's Map, which Harry had given to Hermione, forgotten its useful properties with the pink syndrome; whilst Hermione opened volumes of heavy leather bound books and scribbled messy notes of useful information for possible cures of pink syndrome.

"We need the actual thing, whatever triggered the disease, which is the pink tea. I think it's made of teabags." Whispered Hermione when the clock struck midnight, they had been working in the silent and deserted library for hours.

"Do you reckon you can use Harry's invisibility cloak? Didn't he give it to you because he forgot how to work it?" replied Sophie, rubbing her eyes and stretching.

"But we need a password to get in…"

"Let's make a list of possible passwords then."

So the two set off to work thinking of random pink words of lollies:

Lemon sherbet

The Veronickies (meant to be veronicas)

Mickey Mouse

Loopy duck (meant to be Donald duck)

Kira Clackyson (meant to be Kelly Clarkson)

Pink

Lalalalalala

After a never ending list of wrongly spelt muggles singers and popstars, the two returned to their dormitory and got some sleep.

"You're standing on my toes!" hissed Sophie under the cloak.

"Sorry! We've all grown!" hissed back Hermione.

The two girls arrived at the door of Dumbledore's office, block by a new life size statue of Delta Goodrem.

"Please sing 'The Song That Goes Like This'" it said.

They looked at each other, the statue had obviously sensed their presence, even under the cloak.

"Once in every show, there some a song like this, it starts out, soft and low, and ends up with a kiss. Oh where, is the song, that goes like this? Where is it, where, where?" sang Hermione, who saw no other choice but to sing the hideous song from the musical.

Sophie followed suit, and continued the female part. As she reached the phrases, 'I'm feeling very proud, you're singing far too loud. That's the way that this song goes, you're standing on my toes!' she stifled a giggle.

Finally, they finished the song and the statue jumped out of the way and the two girls hurried up the marble staircase.

"Split up." Hermione nodded to Sophie, and as they entered the empty office, they jumped from under the cloak and started searching the office.

Sophie threw away pink fluffy socks while Hermione smashed Trelawny's brand new pink glass orbs; Sophie shrieked at pink and purple Pygmy Puffs, and Hermione dropped the bottles of pink cordial. Finally, Hermione fished out a jar of pink teabags and pulled Sophie under the invisibility cloak as the door opened and Dumbledore skipped in wearing some pink teddy bear PJs and hugging a large muggle Build-A-Bear.

Hermione and Sophie slipped out of the door as it swung closed and ran back to their dormitory.

After catching their breath, Hermione took out the contents of the jar and made a cup of pink tea. Sophie put out a mouse trap and instantly caught an ugly grey rat. Hermione tipped a teaspoon of pink tea into the rat's mouth. It obeyed quietly without waking anyone else in the dorm.

**A/N: I hope you guys like it! Sorry dumb0413, I know who U R now! I thought U were from my school. PLEASE R&R!! Sorry can't do anymore cuz Dad's yelling at me for using up all the Nappy San OxyAction Max for my dirty shirt.**


	6. Chapter 6

Voldemort sat sown in his crown shaped throne, much like Dumbledore's, and sighed happily

Voldemort sat sown in his crown shaped throne, much like Dumbledore's, and sighed happily.

"Wormtail put on some music will you?"

"Y-y-yes my lord." Said Peter Pettigrew, he quickly put on a muggle CD.

Voldemort started dancing like a maniac who's high on speed or ice. Wormtail shrank into the corner, trying to blend into the wallpaper as much as possible.

Meanwhile, Hermione gasped as the rat slowing turned pink as the fur, it squeaked mournfully. After a minute of transformation, it squeaked again and scurried off, taking a pink strawberry with it as it went. Sophie and Hermione looked at each other.

"It works on animals too. That was a male rat. I could see by its tail. (A/N: I don't know if you could tell if you could tell from tails)" said Hermione, looking disappointed that the rat had disappeared.

"Let's see that book on Pink Syndrome throughout history and how healers thought it disappeared," said Sophie, grabbing a rather thin book compared to those on Hermione's lap.

"_1989-1990, Hogwarts: Pink Syndrome first appeared in1989. At first, the disease was overlooked and passed un-noticed. Then gradually, women noticed the disease spreading. A female healer had found out the cure, but it was lost over centuries._

That's all it's got on Pink Syndrome. Maybe…but…errrrrr…urrm… Hermione… Maybe we should go to Snape."

The two girls, who have fully forgotten about Snape turning pink, scurried out to Snape's office as quiet as mice, under Harry's invisibility cloak.

When they arrived at the door of Snape's office, Hermione felt her heart drop to her feet and Sophie sighed audibly. Apparently either Snape had had pink tea, or he liked pink in the first place. They both preferred the first possibility, or they would have to be tortured by pinkness for the rest of their potions lessons.

They opened the door at a crack and peered in. the door to his living quarters was wide open, and there sat Snape, playing with a little potions kit, trying to make some lip balm while picking his large hooked nose with his big toe.

Sophie gasped and Hermione stifled a laugh. They shut the door as silently as they could and tiptoed to the Room of Requirement, which immediately transformed into their headquarters and rushed in before bursting into laughter, waking the inhabitants of the headquarters dorms.

"What!?" cried an angry and frustrated fourth year Hufflepuff, only to discover that the common room was empty. The girls had forgotten to take off the invisibility cloak!

As the room filled with members of the non-pink society, Sophie and Hermione didn't dare take off the cloak or they will immediately be hit by nearly 300 complaints.

Hermione tugged at Sophie and they both tiptoed out of the NP headquarters.

"Well, last night wasn't exactly a success, but I reckon we should've taken a photo of Snape so we can blackmail him!" giggled Sophie.

"Yeah, maybe to get out of potions or make lip balm or something!" replied Hermione, smiling. She wasn't exactly style queen, but she wasn't whole nerd either, she's still a girl and doesn't want to be miss ugly like the Ugly Betty on that muggle TV show she had watched over the holidays.

"Ah well. So what should we do? Snape's a goner, what are we gonna do? I mean, it isn't exactly easy for two 16 year old witches to discover the cure to pink syndrome when dozens of famous witches and wizards haven't found it over centuries." Said Sophie, getting to the point.

"Er, try and work out what those pink teabags are made of?" suggested Hermione, looking uncertain.

"So where are they?"

"What do you mean where are they? I thought you had them!" snapped Sophie, looked agitated.

"But, wasn't it in your pocket!?"

"No! It was meant to be in your environment friendly butterfly vintage tote bag!"

The two girls glared at each other before slumping onto their beds.

Hermione and Sophie remained mad at each other for loosing the jar of pink teabags, and hadn't spoken to each other for two weeks, and the other girls had been trying to make them, but only got snapped at by either of the girls.

Months passed and the two girls remained the same, there wasn't any conversation between under any circumstances. There had been attempts to sneak in Dumbledore's office alone again in hope of finding a fresh stock pink teabags, but every time they ended up in detention with McGonnagal repeating over and over again, "I'm disappointed! My best students out of bed! Unbelievable!"

Things weren't too well for the boys either, for the whole time they were still brand pink, no effects of the disease had faded, nor did they show any signs of recovering.

After several failed attempts to retrieve a new jar of pink teabags, the fight seemed stupid and babyish to both of the girls, and finally, Hermione and Sophie apologized to each other and started cooking up new plans.

"We'll just have to do the same thing as last time." Suggested Sophie.

"There's no other way. Though it's risky, after each of us have been caught at least five times each, and it'll kill McGonnagal to see us two in cahoots." Agreed Hermione.

"Um,"

"Er,"

"Hmmm,"

"What?!"

"What what?!"

"Oh,"

"Um, let's get going then, it's night time so the teachers are probably dead asleep."

So they wriggled under the invisibility cloak and crept off into the night. This time they were instructed to sing a solo each, In This Life and some song from a Barbie doll ad, and succeeded, though they took twice the time as last time.

As they entered the office silently, they discovered life sized models of pink Telietubbies, posters of muggle rock stars, the Sony sound system stowed away in a corner, assembled wrongly and a box of Kleenex tissues which were sitting next to a Sony laptop and Sony Ericsson K60i phone.

The girls sprang into action like they did last time, and searched through every single area they could lay their hands on, but not a trace of the teabags were found.

Was it because every pink-able male in Hogwarts has been pinked?

Was it because Dumbledore hid it somewhere secret because it was missing last time?

Or was it because someone else had stole it?


	7. Chapter 7

"C'mon

"C'mon! Where haven't we looked? Let's go through the list again…Dumbledore's living quarters, another pinked person's place, Gringotts…" Sophie's excitement didn't wear off, even though she and Hermione hadn't managed to find the jar of teabags.

Instead of continuing Sophie's never ending list of possible locations, Hermione ask, "what do we have after lunch?"

"Aerobics or jump rope."

"Damn. They're making the Jump Rope team wear pink ribbons and stuff in their hair and the uniforms all glittery and pink and it has dangly stars hanging from it! And dangly Powerpuff girls earrings."

"The Aerobics girls get a pink uniform with a silver shooting star going through the middle; and glittery tights that itch like hell; and Hello Kitty earring the size of elephants; and pink and silver love heart and teddy bear hairclips and a white hair tie with Mickey mouse beads hanging off it. How nice."

"Oh gosh so I'm lucky! I bet you some girls are enjoying the pinkness. I think our prizes are going to be an extra-large make-up case with a zillion lip-glosses ranging from glitter to shiny with every colour of the rainbow. Gee that's generous, and the runner ups?"

"Quills that resemble pens with a Winnie the Pooh figure on the top that lights up when you write. And Smiggle. At least there's gonna be some non pink stuff in the Smiggle. We should get some for NP."

"I also heard there's gonna be and technology classes compulsory for year sixes and over. We need iPods and Sony my colour laptops and USB sticks that look like icy-poles. The Malfoys sponsored a Christmas cake USB hub with four strawberries on it that are actually USBs."

"Oh f!#," Hermione swore for the first time of her life, since even the smallest pinkness triggered the swear part of her brain. Her amygdala was falling into pieces (amygdala is the emotional part of your brain, I think).

Sophie turned to look at Hermione for a moment before returning to her load of Smiggle blue or green or orange, any colour but pink, zip pencil cases. Hermione was loading some cube rubbers and Luna was loading some quills she managed to convince the Smiggle manufacturers to make.

More conversation was interrupted by the choir singing Dumbledore's newly written song:

"Yeeaahh… A used, pink bathrobe; A rare, new snow globe; A smurf, TV trade; I bought on Ebay. A house, is filled with, this crap… shows up in bubble wrap; 'Most everyday, I bought on Ebay.

Tell me why, I need another Pet Rock! Tell me why, I got that Elmo alarm clock! Tell me why, I bid on Shannon's old soup! They had it on Ebay!

I'll buy, your Nik Naks! Just check, my feedback… A plus plus! They all say, they love me on Ebay! Gonna buy, a slightly damaged golf bag! Gonna buy, some beanie babies with pink tags, from some guy, I never met in Norway! Found him on Ebay!

I'm the type, who's rivalled with time, with two seconds left to go! Whoooo! With PayPal or Visa, whatever will please 'ya! As long as I got the dough!

I'll buy, your charge keys! Sell me, your watch please! I'll buy (echo)- I'm highest bidder!! Wanna buy a Pac Man fever lunch box…"

The girls listened to Dumbledore's description of Ebay before returning to their own workloads again.

"So what's the password?"

"Duh well you sing a song! Probably the same as the entrance to his office, but a different statue. Maybe Alicia Keys instead!"

"But I don't know any Alicia Keys songs! I don't even know who she is!"

"Well we can look up the lyrics on the internet after the computers have been set up."

"How long will it take for the setup?"

"I dunno do I? Probably months though..."

"But that'll take too long..."

Sophie and Hermione talked in hushed voices. It had been a month since Sophie had planted a spy camera in Dumbledore's office, and they have been watching him closely for the password to his living quarters ever since. Though Sophie hadn't been able to acquire the password, she did discover that one had to sing to an Alicia Keys statue to enter.

"Wait a minute, last time the entrance to his office had a Delta Goodrem statue, and she didn't ask us to sing one of her songs, so..."

The two girls laughed and giggled until their stomaches hurt. Finally Hermione calmed down to finish the last sentence, "So we won't have to sing an Alicia Keys. Necessarily..."

"Unless it's a coincidence, but then too bad, let's just think about what we're gonna do about it when it happens."

The two girls talked until midnight about their plans and thoughts of the invade to Dumbledore's quarters when finally McGonnagal came to tell them off (note they were in their dormitories, which had been repinked after their protective enchantments have been broken).

The next morning, Hermione woke up fairly cheerful, only to discover that Sophie was already up, because her bed was neatly made and there was no sign of her anywhere. _She must've gone to the NP headquarters, _thought Hermione, as they have promised to meet there.

But after having a fast breakfast, Hermione arrived at the Room of Requirement only to discover it empty. Hermione asked several other girls whether they've seen Sophie or not, they all denied.

Finally, Hermione returned to her dormitory defeated. What should she do now that Sophie had mysteriously disappeared?

A/N: I hoped you guys liked this chapter, especially those who left reviews… Really! More reviews please! I wanna know what you think of this story!  PS is this one short?


	8. Chapter 8

Sophie listened to rain pattering…somewhere. She didn't know where she was, or when had the deep gash on her shoulder arrived; anyhow, its presence was not welcome.

All she remembered before waking up in this unpleasant place was an ugly woman with a twisted and squished face who hit her with a well-aimed stunning spell. She was unpleasant too.

She was now sitting on the cold concrete floor with iron chains binding her to the wall. She wondered where Hermione was and if she had realized Sophie's disappearance.

Hermione was panicking; she needed girl power, and fast. But she didn't know many girls well, Sophie was the one with social skills, and she was gone, sort of. Ginny could be a possibility, but what would she do then after getting Ginny? She could only be an accomplice.

But operating alone didn't seem like a really good idea either. Maybe she could build and army, like Harry did for Dumbledore's army – or maybe she made Harry do – and have a search party. But it would be no help since she didn't have the slightest idea where Sophie might be on Earth, maybe even France. Amusing, ha ha ha.

"Argh!" Hermione tugged at her hair, irritated.

Quite some time had passed since the Sophie had disappeared, but apparently nobody took notice. Hogwarts turned into something more of a how-to-be-chick school for boys for the past nearly a year, and it was nearly summer anyway.

"Oh Lord what now?" Hermione halted at yet another pink poster with text in large block letters on it that threatened to swallow the poster itself. Nowadays, usually the events on the pink posters meant compulsory, a students, or girls more likely, will get a detention for not attending.

" 'Get in UR dancing shoes 4 the BIG event coming up… Party like never B4! Delta Goodrem, Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna, Alicia Keys and much more! The BEST party food eva!" a girl was reading the poster out for everyone. "Fun games! Free prizes! Learn some magic tricks that will get UR mates ROTFL!' Blah blah blah! As long as we go!"

"Oh Jesus! Oh Lord! Oh God! Oh…Mary! Oh Holy bible!" Hermione wanted to kill Volde –that's it! Maybe, Voldemort had Sophie because he somehow found out that she and Hermione were trying to cure Pink Syndrome, and took Sophie, hoping that Hermione will somehow work out that Voldemort had Sophie and –yes! It all fits!

But having the fact that Hermione didn't even know where Voldemort is right now and that the party thingo was compulsory pointed out to her didn't help much.

Hermione walked reluctantly to the doors of the great hall with Lavender Brown and Parvati and Padma Patil. Though not enthusiastic about the party, every girl was suggested to wear something good (by Hermione) so no-one would bug them for a daggy outfit and leave them in peace for the rest of the night.

So here she was, sitting with the other girls and discussing Sophie's disappearance and possibilities of where she was. And Hermione thought she didn't have social skills.

"Maybe she's kidnapped by You-Know-Who," whispered a fourth year Hufflepuff, looking horrified by the idea.

"But then what should we do? What's the point of getting her back? It's not going to help the Pink Syndrome from curing!" hissed Pansy Parkinson.

"I hope he kidnaps you as well, and then we don't have to save you _or _listen to your harsh complaining," Hermione glared at Pansy, which silenced her immediately.

She tried to take deep breaths instead of the shallow ones that threatened to choke her. Peering over her shoulder to check that no-one was following. She moved fast and quiet like a cat. She rounded a corner and saw a metal door with a tiny window in it. It was mocking her, laughing at her with the amount of freedom she had; teasing her, showing her the world outside, but careful not to let her slip into it. Anger swallowed her and she charged at the door like an angry bull.

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"Good morning, may I help you?"

"Yes please, I'm looking for an owl, one that's smart and able to find the recipient of the letters no matter where they are."

"We've got just the one you're looking for. Follow me."

Hermione entered a room full of cages different shapes and sizes, with different breeds of owls hooting at each other.

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A/N: I don't think the dividers are working, and also this is also short right?


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N****: I'm not getting enough reviews! Please at least five more new ones from U guys B4 the next chappie!**

Hermione was amazed at the scene. Snowy white owls like Hedwig (who is currently abandoned at the owlery with Pigwidgeon), scrawny barn owls, even pink ones!

The lady led Hermione to another tiny room where there was only one cage.

"She's a beauty, but I'm afraid she might make a hole in your money bag too."

Hermione hesitated. She had been saving up for a beautiful necklace which she saw at a jewellery shop in Hogsmeade. But then she decided that saving Sophie was more important.

"I'm taking her." Snapped Hermione before she could change her mind. She slapped a few gold coins on the table before taking the owl cage off its stand and rushing out of the store.

:

Instead of crashing into the metal like a bullet, Sophie realized she was running on soft, warm sand. She looked around confused and then back at the door which she had just ran out of. It was not locked as she expected. Apologizing to the door (she felt very foolish for that), she turned on the spot and apparated just outside the boundaries of Hogwarts.

:

_Oh I'm not good at this! _Thought Hermione as Ginny helped her onto Harry's Firebolt (Harry has lost his interest in Quidditch completely)

"Now, all you have to do is to kick off hard, now remember hard, and then you'll be off the ground in no time. Then, if you want to go faster, you lean forwards; if you want to go slower, you kind of pull the handle a bit and sit up." Instructed Ginny

Hermione kicked off and Harry, who was watching, grimaced and looked away as though Hermione might fall off any time.

"I can't believe I used to like this stuff!" cried Harry, Ginny wrinkled her nose pointedly until Harry stopped squealing like a girl.

Hermione was a few feet above the ground, and she leaned forward. The broom sped forward and Hermione found herself enjoying this. She pulled the broom to a halt and sped back towards the ground. Ginny was clapping and Harry looked relieved.

"Gotta go then!"

Hermione composed a brief letter addressed to Sophie and tied it around her new owl. It set off with a flap of its wings and Hermione mounted Harry's broom and started to follow it. After what seemed like an hour, the owl finally swooped into a large hole where the pipes used to be. Hermione halted in front of the building set on a beach. Its walls were covered in moss and the stone walls were worn by the weather. There weren't any visible entrances to Hermione so she took a walk along the perimeter to take a look.

Sand fell in her shoes as she walked along. Apparently, the gloomy building was designed to keep people in. Hermione returned to the hole. There must've been quite a large pipe since the hole was quite wide. Hermione tossed Harry's broom on the sand and climbed to the entrance of the hole. Taking one last sweeping look at the beach outside, she crawled into the darkness.

:

Sophie entered the school gates. It felt like home. She rushed to the dormitories, impatient to see Hermione to tell her that she is alright. And what she had overheard when she was in that horrible place. But after bouncing into the dormitory, she discovered it empty apart from Ginny.

"Where's 'Mione?" she asked.

"I dunno. She's been weird lately, just asked me to give her a quick lesson how to ride a broom. Then she flew off after this brown barn owl."

"W-but then –" the horrible truth hit her, Hermione had sent an owl to Sophie.

:

Hermione wrinkled her nose at the filthy pipe hole, but she continued to crawl. Finally her nose bumped something. _Aha, there's something at the end of this pipe thing!_ She thought, until she realized her nose was touching the owl, which was in reverse mode.

"What's the matter?" Hermione's voice echoed everywhere. The owl shoved past Hermione and flew back to the tiny white dot which was the entrance.

Hermione followed suit and soon found herself back at Hogwarts, in her dormitory. But this time Sophie was there.

"Sophie!" Hermione hugged Sophie tightly. Sophie looked relieved and told Hermione, "I think we should've asked for help from the teachers, Hermione. But still, I heard them saying something."

Hermione was too excited to say anything. Finally she'll have Harry and Ron to muck around with! And Draco to insult her so she could talk back. Only now had she realized how amusing those little quarrels were.

"Well, we have to brew a potion and somehow feed it to all the males of Hogwarts. It needs a bit of wand work too though. We just have to work out the teabags' ingredients and then add something that does the opposite thing to a wizard."

"Well let's get to work then! Why don't we ask everyone else to help?"

So Hermione, Sophie and Ginny spent the whole afternoon sending emails (the laptops are issued to every student) to every girl they could think of. By midnight (yes, midnight), the girls have worked out what the teabags were made of. (a step at a time; don't bite off more than you can chew!)

"Very well done, girls!" McGonnagal exclaimed, as though someone had successfully trans-formed into an Animagus in her class, "We'll meet again in the Room of Requirement tomorrow night!"

Hermione, Lavender, Parvati, Ginny and Sophie virtually had a sleepover and no-one got any sleep the whole night. Well duh they were celebrating when they're a step away from getting their boyfriends back! Later that day the girls were getting droopy in Snape's class, but luckily her was pinked or the girls would've been in detention for the rest of their lives! No-one apart from Jimmy (aka the-boy-who-had-too-many-ice-creams-in-one-day-and-hates-it-when-they-put-corn-in-the-chilli-and-dumps-shaving-cream-in-it-by-accident-on-Mondays-PS-they-mean-the-house-elves-by-the-way) falls asleep in Snape's classes.

A/N: Please review! What do u think? If you have any suggestions of what might happen next, please tell cuz I'm not that sure what should happen next 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry guys I haven't updated recently. Still, here's the new chappie! P****uh-lease review.**

"Grindylow skin, Grindylow skin… Professor, what's the opposite to Grindylow skin?" Sophie pondered on her instructions for a while before looking up to see McGonnagal looking confused. But before anyone could say 'I don't know', Hermione piped up, "unicorn hair".

"Gee 'Mione! How d'you know? I don't think that Professor McGonnagal even knows that!"

Hermione laughed, even though there wasn't anything funny about Sophie's words. It was ages since she last laughed, and soon everyone else joined in, including McGonnagal. As soon as it started, it was hard too stop and the girls laughed until their bellies ached from it.

:&

As days passed, the antidote to Pink Syndrome was soon created, and Hermione managed to convince the House Elves to serve the potion in the boys' grapefruit drink: it included lots of weeping as Hermione gave all the elves some bright yellow socks the colour of marmalade.

One by one, the males of Hogwarts turned back to normal, and Dumbledore donated all the electrical equipment to the nearest Salvation Army store by owl. Soon Hogwarts was back to normal (as in the original state, since Hogwarts was never normal) and all the students were glad.

:&

One day after class, Draco Malfoy cornered Hermione.

"Why were you worried about me in the pink thing?"

Obviously Sophie did NOT keep Hermione's worry about Malfoy a secret.

"Um… Er… 'Cause…" After a minute's worth of meaningless words, Hermione finally came up with an acceptable answer, "because I'm a –um- Gryffindor, which means my nature, unlike –er – you, is that I'm… kind and caring… sort of," finished Hermione sort of lamely.

Malfoy stared at Hermione for a moment before leaning forwards to kiss Hermione.

Hermione, startled by 'the worst and meanest and least welcome guy of Hogwarts the Malferret's' action, did not know what to do. She knew she ought to break the kiss, but apparently her nervous system was a bit disconnected. Passers by were staring and Hermione wanted to scream out in frustration, instead she found herself enjoying every second of it.

When Malfoy broke the kiss (at last), both faces were an ugly blotchy red and Hermione hoped someone like Pansy Parkinson would kill her for boy-friend-stealing (like Malfoy ever considered PP his GF).

There was an awkward silence and finally, broken by Luna turning to Dean Thomas saying, in a wildly transparent attempt to break the silence, "so –did you know that Daddy got a photo of a Crumple Horned Snorkack?"

Dean blinked at Luna. "Oh! Um, can I see?" He said loudly, and Luna took out a photo of a strange creature the size of a cat, but looked like bee, with tiny wings and a tiny horn.

"Brilliant!" roared Dean, so loudly and sudden that every eye turned on him while Hermione and Malfoy took the nearest escape route to their separate common rooms.

:&

That night, while Hermione stared blankly at her homework, those who witnessed the event of the year were pointing and glaring at Hermione like she was an alien. Whenever she turned around, the whispering would stop and an awkward silence would float to the surface and then McGonnagal would break the rising tension by scolding the students to continue working.

Soon suspicion was raised by the reoccurrence of those events and Hermione finally couldn't stand it any more and handed in an essay with many crossing outs and abnormally large writing.

:#

**Review!**

**Note: should I just make Malfoy and Hermione date and end it like that or start a new wave of events?**

**TELL ME SO REVIEW!**

**Blotchy K,**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry, I've been sick and had to go to hospital and starting to vo –wait, sorry, like you needed to know that. It'll probably gross you out. Anyway, there's not a date yet in here, but a situation leading to the cause of Hermione accepting her enemy's date. Please review. My muse is still recovering so this one might be really sucky.**

"I still hate Malfoy. I still hate Malfoy. I still hate Malfoy. I still hate Malfoy…" Hermione muttered to herself, trying to lull herself to sleep. But as nearly an hour passed, Hermione was still lying awake in bed. Then, peeling away her covers, she climbed out of bed, wrapped herself in a cloak and picked up her bag to go to an empty classroom to practise her Animagus skills.

Hermione walked up the stairs slowly until she arrived on the second floor, where most of the classrooms have fireplaces. She lit the fire with a wave of her wand and opened her Transfiguration book. Trying to feel proud that this was NEWT level, she started following the instructions on the book. She transformed several times into half human, half kitten.

After several attempts, Hermione started to get the hang of it. Slowly, each trans-formation seemed more and more like a kitten.

When midnight arrived, Hermione was a tiny black and white kitten, sitting in front of the fireplace. Just as she was about to change back, the door opened with a creak and Draco Malfoy entered.

Tear tracks glimmered on his face. Evidently, he had been crying.

Hermione lay, frozen on the spot, not daring to change back anymore. Maybe he'll just leave or something. But Malfoy looked at the room: one of the desks was scattered with books, the fireplace was lit. Unless Malfoy was dumb (no, I meant _stupid_, dumb means mute, or does it? Anyway, Malfoy can talk) or something, he was bound to notice that someone had been here before him.

Malfoy took no notice of the books, and sat in front of the fireplace. Seeing Hermione, he picked her up, and Hermione felt a wave of unease as he did this, and set her in his lap.

"Hello, girly. Where did you come from?" he asked, stroking Hermione's ears.

Hermione was terrified, she wanted to scream, but all that came out of her mouth was a distressed meow.

Malfoy did not seem to pick up the distress. He continued to tickle her.

"I've got to go now, can you come here again tomorrow, please?" he asked desperately.

Hermione wanted with all her heart to kick Malfoy in the bum like a Kung Fu Kitty and run away (!!), but curiosity thwarted her needs, she nodded obediently and hopped off Malfoy's lap. He stood up and exited to classroom. Hermione changed back and stared at the door.

:

**A/N: this is short so forgive me. Please no virtual rotten tomato and eggs to my inbox. Will update ASAP. If going to send virtual fruit and vegies to my inbox, please send the following: ****cucumber, apple, mango, cherry, banana, passionfruit. Thanx. Also, NO ROTTEN OR FORGET ABOUT IT!**


	12. Chapter 12

The following night, Hermione wrapped a cloak around her Teletubbies (did I spell Teletubbies right?) pyjamas and walked down the corridor to the second floor.

Because she was so urgent to discover what the Malferret had to say, she had beaten him to the classroom. Lighting the fireplace and changing into a kitten, she lounged in front of the comforting heat, until the door opened and MALFOY (!!) entered.

Hugging Hermione like a security blanket, he sat down and started talking.

"Maybe I should tell you my story. When I was a kid, my father kept on raving about this crap on Purebloods and how I should be proud to be a Pureblood and how I should dislike muggleborns. I didn't want to do it so he put me under the Imperious –"

Hermione shivered at the name of an Unforgivable Spell and Lucius Malfoy's actions.

"–Curse and made me call muggleborns Mudbloods. He made me go hard on this girl called Hermione Granger and I really didn't want to. I sort of …like her, that girl. I mean, she's not dumb (STUPID!! Hermy can TALK) like Parkinslut, and not the ugliest like Parkinslut.

"Then, at the start of this year, Father wanted me to become a Death Eater, but I didn't want to, and he gave this Sleeping Draught and took me to him. Now I've got the Dark Mark branded _permanently_ into my skin."

Malfoy look distraught, and he pulled up the left sleeve of his pyjama, and the Dark Mark was sitting there, looking evilly innocent. Stroking Hermione absent-mindedly, he stared into space, melting into his own thoughts.

Hermione stared blankly at him. He could've just called her a Mudblood again. So the truth unveiled. In the muggle detective movies Hermione had watched, the truth was always revealed in the end, the criminal caught and punished.

Hermione pushed Draco's hand away and crawled away from the classroom. The truth was too much for her in this one night. Shaking her feelings off, she changed back and slumped onto her bed, falling into and uneasy sleep. An image of the Dark Mark kept snaking in and out of her dreams, making her fell confused and terrified.

The next day, Hermione woke with dark rings under her eyes, blinking the sleep out of her; she vowed to stay in the dorm for the rest of the day. This immediately gave her the yrge to go out. At this, Sophie stepped in.

"H'ya 'Mione! Up for Hogsmeade today? You look like a tired rag doll!" bounced Sophie, looked at Hermione's tired face. She, too, looked wary.

"You too, Soapie," yawned Hermione, flipping between her clothes in the wardrobe, deciding on what to wear for the day. "What happened to you? I, er, um, was up reading last night.

"I was trying to raid the common room free of Fred and George's invisible whoopee cushions. So far unsuccessful. Watch out on what you call people, Soapie is far worse than S… Samalia. C'mon, Samalia sucks in the first place."

"Have you tried a summoning charm?"

"Yup, either it doesn't work on them, or, you know, I suck at charms."

"Oh, well, we'll just have to try not to sit in the common for the meantime until an all clear signal is given."

"Mmmm hmmm."

"I'm up for Hogsmeade, by the way. Need some fresh air." Hermione pulled out a Gryffindor supporting dress, scarlet red with gold lace trimming, and slipped into the bathroom, giving a wink at Sophie.

"So now she knows about Draco, I wonder what's going to happen next…" Sophie murmured to herself, turning to the wardrobe herself to find 'the outfit of the day'; "don't forget the shoes!" she shouted to the bathroom.

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**A/N: Don't worry, this isn't the end of the chapter yet, just…noting! Yes, Sophie has virtually been watching the WHOLE thing like I am watching the Game Plan right now. I haven't been planning for this, but it suddenly popped up and I wrote it. Hiya!**

:

Hermione had magicked the dark rings under her eyes almost invisible, and Sophie wore a green blouse with nice jeans and fancy black high heels. Hermione added low heels with diamond studs all over the place. (A/N: when I right this, I just have an image of Hermione in a dress which loomed from my imagination and Sophie with a green version of mum's blouse and my fave jeans, OH! Wish I could just send my imagination to all of you! I could draw…anyway,) Sophie looked really bouncy like she just swallowed all the bouncy balls in the world, "it's time for shopping, girlfriend!"

"A whattie?"

"May God kick Hermione into the nearest accessory store, amen."

"Huh? Oh yeah, right…let's go."

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?

"You look tired, you don't _have _to go. Let's get you back to Hogwarts, now."

"Oh, no! I really wanna do this! C'mon, off to accessories we go!"

Sophie hesitated and Hermione dragged Sophie off with surprising strength and off they went for their shopping spree.

(Sophie pov) (I've never done these before…)

Hmm, maybe jade…it'll please Draco, Hermione suits jade; jade suits Hermione. With silver too. Wonder if 'Mione would wear it…she's actually really stubborn. Really stubborn. If not green, then rubies! I can't wait to hear them fighting about which house is the greatest. I bet Draco would give in to Gryffindor… Now after jewellery, Hermione and I would just 'accidentally' bump into Draco and Draco, please ask her or I've been planning this bump for nothing! And get a bruise. I need to make Hermy nice and pretty. And Draco, but that's tomorrow, Sunday…

(back to normal, you know what I mean, 'off pov mode'-ish)

(wait a min. A/N: Yup, Sophie's pushing Hermione and Draco together on purpose, like Cupid or whatever his name is, the guy from Valentine's Day and all that. Hopefully her plans work out. I hope Draco isn't gonna chicken out and squeak a 'hi')

"Oh Hermione, you look sooooooooooooooooooo good with this jade necklace! Or a ruby one!"

"I think I'll take the ruby on a gold chain."

"I'll get the jade one then. Or emerald."

"You don't have to get the reject stuff, Sophie. But hey presto, it looks good on you, so I won't say anything else."

"Hermione, life is full of surprises," smiled Sophie.

……………………………………………&……………………………………………….

**A/N: I haven't done this long in a while…Maybe I'll update every Monday or so. With a MEGA chapter for those with big appetites.**** Please review and tell me what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Chapter 13, truth unveiled, now we just have to see if Hermione likes the REAL Draco or not.**

(Sophie pov poverty??)

Hmmm, just down this alley way and…aaah ha! Three Broomsticks. Draco is sooo gonna bump into 'Mione. Then I'll blend into the background and slip off the girls' bathroom.

(BTN, back to normal)

"C'mon, let's get to Three Broomsticks and get a butterbeer. Then we'll go back on our shopping mission." Cheered Soapie (Sophie, or Samalia; Sophie _hates _being called Soapie, but she's not J.K Rowling's, so I get to call her Soapie).

"Continue shopping? I thought we've visited every shop in Hogsmeade!" whined Hermione, shopping wasn't really her thing.

"It's not my fault you wouldn't buy anything."

"That's only because nothing suits me."

"There were about ten thousand dresses you tried on. Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine of them suited you. The one that didn't was a dress with black and fluoro green stripes. Vertically.

"You wouldn't buy any of those nine-nine-nine-nines. So, my fault still, eh?"

Hermione blushed. "Well –"

"Oh!" interrupted Sophie, because firstly they have already entered Three Broomsticks while they were talking, secondly, she was meant to act surprised as they 'bump' into Draco.

Draco didn't know that Sophie was bringing a friend, so he looked surprised too. There was an awkward silence; then broken by Sophie saying, "I'll…just leave you two to some privacy."

Both Hermione and Draco looked at her, shocked, Hermione mouthed, in a desperate attempt to stick to her, 'help me!', but Sophie was already slipping into the girls' bathroom (planning to try on her new necklace and make a to-do plus shopping list for Hermione)

Silence.

Finally, Hermione broke into speech, admitting that the kitty was her and she was the kitty. The same kitty that listened to Draco's thoughts and –

Draco interrupted with a kiss that made Hermione's knees buckle.

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**A/N: OK, I have to admit that I'm good at writing anything but kisses. Anything. Absolutely anything apart from kisses. From wet soppy kisses to perfect kisses to kisses that both people get hooked on each other's braces for. I'm no good at any of them. So ****I'll just write Sophie's lists:**

Stuff to buy 4 Hermy:

Mascara

Lip Gloss (red, pink, orangey-pink, light pink)

Blush (soft pink)

Eye Shadow (soft pink, tan, haze-brown)

(OMG OMG OMG!! Really need Muggle tools! Summer hols' next week, ask Hermy to sleepover at mine)

Hair Straightener

Herbal Essence

Pantene

Gloss Treatment Package

Nail Polish (clear, red, black all right, that's for me, white, gold, metallic brown)

Diva and Equip

DON'T CARE!! EVERYTHING WE SEE THEN!!

:

(**A/N: oh, and Hermione's foot popped.)**

Sophie pulled Draco into a spare classroom, looking excited. Even though her excursion with Hermione had come to an end, she had to know what happened when she left.

"So, what happened?!"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right. I catch you in your lies, Draco! :-P"

"Oh all right! I kissed her, all right?"

"Nice description."

"What else can I say?"

"I dunno, how about 'I just realized she had really nice lips' or something?"

"Okay, fine, I just realized she had really nice lips. Happy now?"

"Not really."

"What?" (Sophie was giving Draco a look that said 'stop that this instant or you will find yourself in a cooking pot')

"Meet me…in the Three Broomsticks tomorrow at nine am!"

"Why?"

"You'll find out then!"

:

After flipping through all of Hermione's Girlfriend magazines, Sophie had made a shopping list:

Miki Lip Gloss, pink

Creative Sensations Hand and Body Lotion

Yes to Carrots C Me Smile Lip Butter

Lark Hair Grips

Gumboots Trench Coat

Candy Boots

Fiona Scanlan Jeans

Equip Sunglasses

Gumboots Denim Skirt

Supre Dress

Sea Folli Cami

Bede Girls Denim Skirt

Essie Nail Polish, Silver

Equip Sparkly Bangles

Schwarzkopf Oil Nutritive Repair Butter

Australis Liquid eyeliner

Avon's Heart EDP Spray

The Body Shop Hi-Shine Lip-Treatment

Plus the whole Diva shop, can't be stuffed writing those names, and Supre, and Sportsgirl, and Witchery, and Espirit, and Gas, and Smiggle (for pretty homework).

(Actually I flipped through my Total Girl magazines, I'm still a bit too young for Girlfriend)

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**A/N: So, summing up this chappie, Sophie is everything (she's acting like a cupid plus beautician plus hairdresser plus fashion guru), perfecting Hermione and sliming Malfoy cuz he's prettier than her…just kidding, and making Malfoy pretty, and making her homework pretty. This chapter was so long because I kept making lists. You should be impressed that Sophie has memorised her lists by the next chappie and shocked that…okay, no more telling for the next chap.**


	14. Chapter 14

"Sing, Soapie."

"A-B-C-D-E-F-G!"

"Something else."

"Twinkle twinkle leetle star, how I –"

"Anything but muggle nursery rhymes."

"THEN STOP CALLING ME SOAPIE!!"

Draco looked partly amused. "Oh all right then! SOPHIE, sing then."

"Jack and Jill went up the hi –"

"This is hopeless!"

"Duh, I suck at singing."

"Why did you ask me here today?"

"Zoo make 'ou pwettier ov course."

"That isn't an Italian accent."

"Oh. Anyway, since you're a guy and I'm a girl, I'm not very good at styling guys, so meet…Hedwig!"

"You brought an _owl _to style me? I'd be lucky not to get poopy all over myself!"


End file.
